How to Bluff that Town Guard

This article can be useful for both RPers and DMs. As a disclaimer, I cannot be held responsible for if you use this technique outside of it's intended purpose (or even inside).

That disclaimer out of the way, let's get down to it. So you want to tell a lie? There are a few rules that need to be observed.

1. The performance
99% of communication is non-verbal. Act like you have every right to be doing what you are doing.  Before you talk the talk, you have to walk the walk.

2. Presentation
It doesn't matter how good you swagger if you don't look like you should be there. Remember, the more average (for the environment)   you look, the less you will stand out, and thus the better chance you will have of staying off the radar. Dress for success.

3. The expression
Practice schooling your features into any number of expressions. The normal everyday neutral facial expression, while good for everyday bluffing, is not suitable for when you are pretending to be panicked for a guard.

4. Eye contact
It has been psychologically proven that people like eye contact. Not staring like you are trying to see into their soul, but avoiding someone's gaze is an amateur mistake when it comes to bluffing. Meeting eyes is ok, but other things can be done as well. Check your watch, scuffle your feet, casual glance around, etc.

5. The pitch
Have what you will say and a few responses to what you expect they might say ready at hand. The more responses you plan for, the less chance you have of screwing up the bluff with an obvious contradiction.

6. The backstory
Peoples memories are filled with holes, and your back story should be too. Some people might remember minute details and far back memories, but the majority of long term memories are linked to the senses( such as the taste of food, scent of a flower, sound of a particular piece of music, etc) or to strong emotion. Asks someone how many pebbles were on the road at a particular intersection, and most people will not be able to tell you. However, if you ask them about the guy who cut them off, they will rant about his black pickup truck for half an hour.

7. The backup
Always have a plan for if you stumble or falter in the bluff. "Oops, I guess I took a wrong turn." or "What do you mean this isn't the way to the bathrooms?" is ok once in a while, but using it too often will get you nothing but suspicion.

8. The priorities
Remember that you are the most important item in the bluff. Putting the acquired goods back, apologizing,  and going  back under the suspicion radar is better than getting caught bluffing. Don't stick your neck out for something shiny either. sure, it might be nice to have one, but never at the cost of your image. Making a break for it means that you've already admitted to failing the bluff, an admission of guilt to any observing party.

9. Conviction
If you don't at least sound like you believe what you are saying, the definitely won't believe it.

10. Make 'em think it was their idea
Remember, a convincing argument is one with a conclusion that they themselves thought of. It's easy to doubt someone else's conclusion. It's much harder to doubt ones own.

11. The power of truth
Adding a bit of truth can make a world of difference. A half truth or mostly truth that leaves out a single detail and lets them draw the wrong conclusion from that omission is far more powerful and convincing than a straight up lie.

Once again, I have to state that this has been placed here for RP purposes only. Neither I nor DnDeviants condones using this article in any other fashion.

TheLittlePrince5